Testimony to the
Arizona State Senate Education Committee
by Brenda High, Bully Police USA - Founder (2005)
Hello, my name is Brenda High. I am the Director of Bully Police
USA and the mother of a boy named Jared, born in Arizona.
Jared spent his early years here in the great state of Arizona.
Later, my husband found a job in Washington State so we moved there when
Jared was five.
When Jared was in middle school, some older and bigger kids started
bullying him and soon, one of them severely assaulted him. The bullying
and assault caused Jared to become depressed. Although we moved Jared
to a new school and school district, the depression didn’t go away and
on Sept 29th 1998, six days after his 13th birthday, Jared took his life.
I call this a “bullycide” rather than a suicide because his depression
was caused from bullying.
Bullycide is happening all over the country right now. Yesterday,
(Feb 1st), I got an email from a mother in Texas. She says:
"My 13 year old daughter Corinne was a bright, beautiful and talented
girl. Her father and I had no idea for months prior to her death
that she was being teased and harassed by two girls that we thought were
her friends. One day they would be nice, and mean the next.
This went on for 2 months. On October 6, 2004, these girls made it
the theme of the day, that they wished Corinne was dead and that she should
go home and kill herself. She went home after school and shot herself
in the head. The school denies knowing anything prior or after concerning
the events of that afternoon of the 6th."
What could Corinne’s parents have done? They didn’t know their
daughter was being bullied until it was too late to do anything about it.
While talking to her on the phone yesterday she said that there were numerous
witnesses, children and adults, but everyone stood by and did nothing
to the abuse Corinne was suffering every day at school.
Suicide, bullycide, depression, anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorders,
serious illness… these are just some of the things that can be caused from
bullying. Bullying is leaving a wake of victims all over the country.
And many of these victims will suffer the consequences of bullying all
their lives.
Bullying is an adult problem, not a child’s problem. Bullies
bully because they can, and because they can get away with it. Adult
are entirely to blame for bullying in our schools because they don’t stop
it. Bullying is not a “part of growing up” or even “boys will be
boys” problem. Again, bullying is an adult believing that its “part
of growing up” and an adult believing “that boys will be boys”. We
adults need to change our attitudes about bullying. Would we have
the same attitude if adults were bullying adults? No, I don’t think
so.
Why are we so afraid to stop the bullying in our schools?
I’m thinking… If we had continued to live in Arizona and Jared had died
by bullycide here in Arizona, I probably wouldn’t be doing what I am now,
the director of Bully Police USA. I’m not one to stay in my comfort
zone. I’m a bit daring. You know, I think I would have run
for office, as I did years ago in Washington State. I think I would
be sitting up there with you on the Education Committee making a difference
for the kids of Arizona. I wouldn’t be afraid of lot of anything.
…Some of you have lost a loved one, maybe even a child. But when
you lose a child by suicide or bullycide, somehow you lose your fear of
everything else. You have faced the trauma of death and survived.
If I were sitting up there with you, I wouldn’t fear passing a good
common sense anti bullying law. I have heard that some people fear
an anti bullying law might cause lawsuits.
If everyone were afraid of lawsuits because of their actions, there
would be no laws made, no inventions, no initiative, no nothing.
We would all be sitting around watching television – opps, there wouldn’t
be any television. We would have been too afraid to invent it.
Have you ever driven down a freeway were there were no signs to tell
you where to go or where to get off? …Okay, have you ever driven
down a road, without your spouse, where there were no signs telling you
where to go or get off? The point is, having rules and signs to
follow PREVENT lawsuits, not cause them.
People say, “Back in my day, bullying was just something we all had
to go through to make us tougher.” This belief may have some merit,
at least with those who didn’t go through any severe bullying. But,
today things are a lot different than 40 years ago when I was a kid.
Today we have “classes” on how to bully. These teaching tools
are in the form of violent television and video games, raunchy comedy,
and sexually degrading pornography. If it weren’t for conscientious
lawmakers such as you, our society would have gone to hell and a hand basket
already. God Bless you for caring about us and making good laws to
protect us.
On Monday night I got an exciting call from our Bully Police – Virginia
Director Adrianna Sqarlata, a future Miss America. She proudly told
me that The Virginia House had just voted on one of two Anti Bullying Laws.
The vote was 97 to 0. Virginia is united in protecting their youngest
citizens from peer abuse and bullying.
Oh, what a dream I have for Arizona children! I dream that they
will be safe in school, that they will love going
to school and that they will be excited to learn in school…
Will you help make my dreams come true?
Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity to speak for the kids
of Arizona.
